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Paradise Is Hypnotic For Abortion

Such a sleepless night, tonight. I guess I've been avoiding this update for while. It's not even an update - it's my life story... wrapped up in something online. It's nice, I guess; I'm able to write it all down here. My psychotic roommate, Amanda - the one who is uber obsessed with her boyfriend, Clay, moved out. And, in the process, she made a fuss over paying $80.00 for the 2 months she owes on the cable & internet bill from Comcast. Now, my dormmate Judith - the name in which the bill is under - got stuck with it. She wants me to pay $60.00 for it, too. That's alright - I told her I would. So, I have to pay her with a credit card. She wants cash by like 9 a.m. tomorrow, I guess. The only way I can get her that, quickly, is by credit card. Ugh, what a mess.

So, today, I called my mother. Just to chat with her. She hung up on me. Here's the scenario: She complained about me calling her... like, it's not okay to want to talk to my mother? She's getting a puppy. Now, mind you - when I had my puppy, a beagle named Brownie, she took it away for me in just 2 weeks because I hadn't figured out how to train her the appropriate way yet. S0, I told her that I hope she doesn't just give up on this dog like she so quickly did mine. Then she went on for almost 20 minutes on that. Fantastic. Leading to her hanging up on me. Then she hung up on me a second time when I asked her a question. Ugh, what a day.

Ah, New Phrase: LOL Factor

Here are 10 different ways to use LOL Factor in your everyday life:

1. If you see a big lady walking down the street with a cheetah-spandex-bodysuit on, and she obviously should not be wearing a spandex-bodysuit, she's an LOL Factor.
2. If an athlete, who happens to be a major jerk/ass, falls on his or her face during a game, that's a dignified LOL Factor.
3. If a politician, in which has been robbing/manipulating the government system secretly for many years, finally gets caught in his or her lies and is arrested, maimed, chased by an angry crowd with torches and gas-powered weed whackers, removed from their position, resigns from their position out of pure fear of the people, moves to a different state out of fear of the people, is mistaken for a flamer on the streets of New York, or is attacked by the wild boar your neighbor secretly owns, that's an LOL Factor.
4. If Paris Hilton is thrown out of night club or a reserved party because she is just not welcome there, that's an LOL Factor.
5. If your celebrity status is so tarnished that Perez Hilton is writing about you on his blog, you're an LOL Factor.
6. If you're former United States President George W. Bush, you're an LOL Factor.
7. If your parents named you Diva Thin Muffin, and your father's name is not Frank Zappa, you're an LOL Factor.
8. If your family consists of generations of Welfare beneficiaries, and you're perfectly capable of working in society, but refuse to because you'd rather be a lazy piece of waste, you're an LOL Factor... and a big fat FAIL at that, too.
9. If your muffin top is so large that it may have suffocated your unborn fetus, in which may have never existed in the first place because you lie through your face to grieving families about who the baby's father is to get money from them, then you're an LOL Factor, and a waste of life.
10. If you're such an air head that you believe you're still hot sh-- of the year, even though you're a vastly overweight midget sitting ugly at a mediocre business school, you're an LOL Factor.

Terms of Use: Be sure to use this phrase overly too much in your extended vocabulary, everyday.

Cry Guilty, One More Time

I'm sorry I haven't been updating recently. Last week, was really hectic... in terms of I was plagued with depression for a few days. Tuesday, I didn't go to school... and I didn't go last Thursday, Friday, or this week's Monday, either. I just didn't really feel like attending; mostly, because I know that Graphic Design is definitely not my career. I am a website designer, yes... but is it more of a hobby, than a career? Is my music more of a hobby, than a career? I'd certainly hope not. I love writing music, it's always been my perfect cup of tea. And now, I'm working on my physical appearance so that way I at least have a dignified shot at a real career. Have I ever thought of American Idol, of course I have! It's just that shows like that aren't always for everyone, you know?

So, anyhow. So much has been happening in school and whatnot. Persay, I guess. I'm thinking about transfering to Youngstown State University... Mostly because I miss the closeness of people, the diversity, and the changes I could make there. Here, it seems like everything is broken, but no one is willing to admit that their "perfection" isn't perfect. At least in Youngstown, no one is denying the fact that it's definitely not a Pleasantville. People seem more "real" in Youngstown, and they're much more in-your-face about the truth, and what's right or wrong.

My grandfather passed away on March 9, 2009; I still can't believe that I just typed that sentence. He was one of the strongest, most independent people I've ever met in my life... and he kept a great expectation of me, and I met the goal each time he raised the bar. I feel like I've lost that leverage, and now I have to go on what I remember the most. My mother doesn't have the same appeal, no. She's more of the "do whatever the f- you want, just don't involve me." How pleasant. She even allowed my sister to drop out of high school... wait, better yet, forced her to. Kaytlynne didn't want to go to school... mostly because she doesn't have the same drive I do... She feels like she doesn't have a place in the world; I beg to differ.

On another note, last week my mother was admitted to the hospital via. ambulance ride. My mother is 36 years old, and she is on blood-thinners. Mostly, because she is definitely overweight, and doesn't eat healthy what-so-ever. So, she's supposed to be taking these blood-thinners and whatnot... Well, she isn't. She claims they make her feel funny, blah blah blah. Well, of course they will.. the first few days anyhow. If she would drop the weight, she wouldn't have any problems with blood clots or her heart or her lungs or her legs or her back or her psychotic mind, for that matter. The doctor said that if she doesn't take them, she will die. I personally believe that she wants to die... to go be with my grandfather. My mother has basically switched her life with his, and left her business, friends, and children, all in the dust. I don't want my mother to die, no... but it's as if she has nothing to hold onto. Not even her 18 yr. old, and 16 yr. old daughters. Beautiful.

So, I've been doing some thinking, some more writing, and other strange things that a creative observant crazy like me does. I'm in the midst of writing "Cry Guilty, One More Time". Check out the beginning phases below:

Bedazzled, I'm hassled over the thought of losing you
It's time to think of some other familiar way
Hanging by the shattered past of me and you
This feeling's got me feelin' the blues, and it's a shame

Take me, heartbeat, back to a time you were mine
I was moving mountains with the love I felt
We lost it all with the passing of time
Surrounded by the fire, my heart'd just melt

Bridge:
To you, oh, I'd run to you
In the middle of the night
If you think I'm lying about the truth, it's true
Since you've been gone, nothing's been alright

Chorus:
Broken roses don't shake the essence of a plagued card
You say, I'd say, "I love you" like it was a sin
Like it was all gone with the wind
I heard you knockin' on the door of my heart
I'm crying, guilty, one more time, like I'm falling apart

Wait, wait, wait a minute
I know you're so tired of going it alone
I told you, I loved you, in the heat of the night
And now, I'm carrying on with a lie on the phone

Thank you for being there for me
I know I'd never be there for you
Saved by the grace of God,
It's all getting through...

Last Call For The Popeye Factory

Whoa, so I'm watching Superman Returns on FX today, and I realize that... Brandon Routh is by far probably one of the most gorgeous actors out there. He's got the deep voice, gorgeous face... Ah! So great! You know, I'm also a major fan of actors like Adrian Paul, Clive Owen, Dean Cain, blah blah blah. Even the Jonas Brothers are attractive, to say the least. Oh, and my favorite actresses are Kelly Monaco, Reese Witherspoon... and more or less, a few more.

So, Miss California is just digging herself into the biggest hole like known to man. She's got nude photos out there, and they're going to start surfacing soon enough. Why in the world would she do that to herself? I think anyone who plans on having a major career, and if your career will be media oriented, should never, EVER take inappropriate images of themselves. Personally, if you do that to yourself.. then you're not very comfortable with just exploiting who you are, and you have to make up for the personality you lack... desperately. Ugh, personally... I think people should just do what will make them happy, as long as it doesn't harm anyone... And marriage, whether gay or straight, doesn't physically or emotionally harm anyone! So, why should anyone have the right to say what is OKAY to make someone happy? It's ridiculous, and unnecessary. Religion shouldn't cross over into the law, fair and square... actually, it's not allowed to. So, why is there such a huff over gay marriage, again?

So, today was a pretty decent day. My dorm mate, Judith, bought fake mustaches with her friend (from a different college), Tammy. Haha, why would someone buy mustaches, randomly, without any warning? I have no idea... they're pretty creative and random like that, so yeah. But hey, they just left to Otter's apartment. Oh, wait! You don't know who Otter is, yet. Okay, let's go ahead and do a character analysis here:

1. Judith: Dorm mate, works at a German restaurant, about 5'2", likes alternative music, really cool, etc. Oh, yeah, there are 2 bedrooms per apartment/dorm.
   
2. Tammy: Judith's friend from high school, very tan, extremely strange, obsessed with the Doors.
3. Otter: A ginger-like, tall-ish, fat-ish, guy who is sexually attracted to otters; considered a fury.
   
4. Elevator Stalker: A taller, bigger guy who is obsessed with 4chan.com, rides the elevators a lot, Otter's roommate, a networking student, and is obsessed with PC/Linux machines.
   
5. Mini-Psycho: my roommate, who basically uses her side of the room as a storage facility while she stays over at her boyfriend Clay's house... and when she isn't with Clay, she complains constantly, talks and brags about Clay, and cries all the time. Oh, and her boyfriend's parents do not like it when she over-stays her welcome oh say... 4 weeks at a time. He's in Maine right now.. she's hiding in his basement. Can we say... clingy? EXTREME!
6. The Camper: A guy who goes to school with a tent for a bookbag. What does he think? While biking to school, there's going to be sudden blackout, and he'll have to pitch a tent somewhere? Haha, I guess you can never be TOO prepared... Or, can you? We're in the middle of a city for goodness sake!
7. Brown-Teeth: A female classmate who has the plain-jane look, an over-lapping belly, uses people for money or her benefit, is obsessed with anime, thinks she would qualify to be on American Idol, is a confused bisexual, and has nasty yellow brown teeth.
8. Sarah Martin: Judith's previous dorm mate who was removed from our apartment because she smoked weed, ate everyone's food, and was generally disgusting. Let's just say that a 1,000 calorie can of Beef Stew was her best friend, and she loved to eat canned pork & water. Ugh, extremely disgusting.

I think that's all for now, but you basically get the picture. I'll add more characters who are (real) a major factor in my current college life. Other than that, have a fantastic Tuesday! =]

Dream On, They Cried

Haha, so.... meeting random people is fun. I guess? I'll be meeting someone extremely random this afternoon... I'm sure it happens all the time? I say we go to the gym, that's what I say! Haha!

Anyhow, it was so darn rainy outside today. =(

I'm not a fan of awful weather; either or, boy am I in a good mood! Why? I have no idea.... wait, maybe I do. Nope, I don't. So, I took some of my books (along with my roommates) to this bookstore to do the whole sell back thing. Like 13 books or so, and the only amount total was like $77.00! Like, what in the world? Her classes are Paralegal... mine are Graphic Design... Well, okay. This stupid color book thing was like $10, so whatever. But you know, that's like a major rip off! Nuts!

Anyhow, what was I going to say... Oh, right. Nothing too big happened today, I guess. There's this girl, in my class... we'll just dub her the name "Muffin Top". She's 5 weeks pregnant, and pretty much doesn't know who the father is. Oh, goodie! She claims it's her deceased fiancee, who passed away about March 14th. So, ladies and gentlemen, if she's 5 weeks pregnant, (since 05.01.09), who is the baby's father? Is it the deceased fiancee? Or, would it be the scared shit-less Nazi-like tool in my class? Hmmmmm, I wonder. The shame is... she went off and told the family it was his baby! How awful is that! You've got to be pretty low, Muffin Top. Pretty low. Give or take, she's a mess. A major mess. Oh, well; that's my version of Muffin Top. Isn't she so... desirable?

Gotta Push It To The LIMIT...

You know, I am extremely glad I decided to go ahead and drop my weight... permanently. Let's give the stats here:

Age: 18 years old, born October 20, 1990
Nationality: German, Irish, Native American (2 tribes)
Hair Color: Brunette w/ Blonde Highlights (faded)
Eye Color: Blue
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 258.8 lbs.

Wait.
WHAT?!

Yeah, it's true. I weigh 258.8 lbs. What in the world happened? Well, I don't have any type of eating disorder or anything like that. It's the fact that I managed to keep up an eating routine since my high school Freshman year designed to keep my weight steady. Once I stopped being active in sports and whatnot, I gained weight. Quickly, too, might I add. It wasn't until the end of my Junior year I decided to make a change... So, I did. And I lost 40 lbs. in just 2 months! But then, of course, I got carried away... Didn't pay attention to the routine I designed for myself... And I just gained it all back. The highest I've ever weighed is 280 lbs. ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com is a GREAT motivation. Trust me. It's like.... the #1 motivator of what not to eat. I know that food is used to fuel and nurture your body, I don't have to use it for anything else.

10. I remember that Britney Spears, at one time, did about 1,000 sit-up/crunches a day. That's my goal to meet at some point. I've started out by doing 100 sit-up/crunches a day and 50 push-ups a day. Currently, after only one week, I'm at 120 sit-up/crunches a day and 50 push-ups a day. Although, for someone who has never had any athletic training... probably not a good idea to start so high.

11. I'm not ugly, no. So, why should I let such an ugly weight number bring me down? I'm not going to. My goal is to be under 170 lbs. and possibly maintaining my weight at about 150 lbs. I remember that it isn't a diet, it's a LIFESTYLE.

12. Finally, I know I am an extremely optimistic person. Well, and extremely motivated, too. Nothing is going to stop me from doing this. It's what I want, it's what I need. I plan on reaching my goal by the end of September 2009. I think I can do it; actually, I know I can.

April 23, 2009: 275 lbs.
May 02, 2009: 258.8 lbs.

I'm ready; are you?

On A More Personal Level...

So, my name is Ammie-Marie Littke.

Most people just call me Ammie, which is pronounced like "Amy", not Ah-me. Although, my dear mother's great intention was to have me called "Ah-me". Thank God my grandmother couldn't pronounce it. So, therefore, I have an extremely unique way of spelling Amy.

I graduated from Youngstown, Ohio's East High School in June 2008, being a member of the first graduating class there. Yeah, high school was hectic, (for me that is) but it was entertaining and completely memorable. Although, I believe it's what you do after high school that makes you important in today's society. The whole "popularity race" within the inner circle of high school cliques don't stand a chance in the outside world; because out here, the celebrities and money-money makers do it.

So, what did I do in high school? Oh, well... you know. The summer after my freshman year, I moved from the snobbiest city in Southwest Michigan, to Northeastern Ohio, with my undiagnosed bi-polar mother (who is by-far probably the most manipulative person alive... but a decent mother..ish). There, I attended Woodrow Wilson High School, which was destined to be torn down 2 years later. I was the final student newspaper editor, a 2-year member of F.B.L.A, the 1st & last student to qualify for the National Conference in Website Development while winning 2nd place in the state of Ohio, and a devoted chorus & vocal ensemble member. It was filled with insane students, police officers who are too friendly to care about what really goes on, and a large amount of teachers who want to help, but are too worn out by the madness. Then, after being split-up by our district, students migrated to fellow Youngstown City High Schools like Chaney High School and the newly-built & modified East High School. I went to East High School for my senior year, and decided to make the best of it. So, by that... I mean I became a member of Promoting Student Intelligence (a club based on promoting abstinence among teenagers); the 1st EHS President of Future Business Leaders of America, a member of chorus; a vocal ensemble member; the 1st editor for EHS's student newspaper, Panther Pride; the 1st Student Board Representative for East High School; a member of the speech class/team thing; represented the Youngstown School District at Hillary Clinton's Solutions For America rally at Chaney High School on February 19, 2008; blah blah blah.

Yeah, so. I did it all when I was only 17 years old. So, after such an impact in a community and district... what did I do? I moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and began to attend a business school, inside of a mall, for Graphic Design. Oh joy, the decisions we make. That's okay; I'll rise again, I think. Enjoy reading my daily updates and life stories. Maybe you'll enjoy them, maybe you won't. We won't know unless you read it. =]

New Song Created!

Hard Rockin' Harmony

Runnin', runnin'
Engines are revvin' up faster than they can whine
I'm taken by the steel box of wasted time, it's lingering on my mind

Wilder than the cursed; blazin' like the plague
Tonight, the guilty are walkin' down the line of shame

Fire streamin' from the strings of white noise
Heavy feelin', threadin' adrenaline like a rhythm to destroy
I said, "Don't cha got somewhere to go, somewhere to be?"
He said, he wants to stay, and rock tonight with me

Bridge:
Whispers in the dark, cradle a dangerous vibe
Shocks of red lightening are shakin' up the night
A cast spell sounds the hard rockin' harmony
Clear with a ring, singing three's a company

Chorus:
Within the midnight air, a nightmare dreams
Approach the limit; nothing is what it seems
Drown in your sorrow, waste your last dime
Crash these forbidden cymbals one last time
Within the midnight air, a nightmare hums my name
A guaranteed preach of madness, hard rockin' harmony

White-winged doves breach darkness to fly once more
A wicked scream of "gimme more" echoes from the back door
He's getting in too deep; just too blind to see it
The crowd seeks to rebel, chanting for mischief
No use in searching for a soul-savin' light, it's up in flames tonight
(Bridge, Chorus)

A nightmare's dreamin', dreamin', dreamin' away tonight
Whisked away by the wind, there's no end in sight
The preacher's praying for a way to kill time
Begging for the big gun with the misleading sign
Her nightmare's dreaming away wicked-willing tonight
It's the feeling of losing your soul that'll leave you alone in fright
Whispers carry in the dark, carrying a signature mark
(Chorus)

A guaranteed preach of madness
Streaming wild with a class of bad-ass
It's that dream of a nightmare that sets you free
Lost to the hard rockin' harmony

What do you think? Let me know!